Godly Dads?

I'm currently leading a weekly bible study for our Sr High guys. Last week we discussed the early life of David and the "qualifications" that he had that made God choose him over his other brothers. We talked about what it means to be a "godly man" and how each of us can try to attain that.

I asked them for specifics of what a godly man looks like in 2010 but they had a hard time coming up with descriptions other than, "goes to church." Thats it. A godly man is someone who goes to church. They didn't mention integrity, strength, taking care of a family, honesty, etc. Going a little further I asked them how many of them believed that their dad was a godly man. Not one guy spoke up. Now I imagine that was partly because they still aren't sure that being a godly man is something to be proud of or not. Either way, when none of them immediately felt that their dad was a godly man, it made me sad.

If your youth ministry is anything like mine, 75% of your volunteers are women. When I need help with an event its the moms that show up. When I need small group or Sunday school leaders, its the women volunteering.

So, where are the men??? I struggle with the fact that many (most?) of the dads in our church would have no hesitation to coach a little league team or spend an hour teaching their son the proper form for throwing a football, despite the fact that they aren't pros as either of these things. But they won't teach a group of boys about the bible, how to pray, or how to be godly men, probably because "they aren't pros" at these things. Why the disconnect? Why will they (we) share their knowledge on football technique without being asked, but will only share about their faith if we pull teeth?

So I ask you friends, how do we engage the men of our churches in the lives of our students? How do we leverage the life experiences of the men in our congregations for the benefit of our young men making decisions today?

For The Kids

Tim Stevens of Granger Community Church is a pastor, blogger, author and father. In a post last week he outlined his family's rules and expectations for media usage. I found this post interesting because my parents had similar rules for me growing up. Fortunately for me, my parents also shared Stevens' idea that restrictions must loosen as kids grow up if parents expect their children to be able to make their own responsible choices once they're out on their own (IWU Code of Conduct anyone?).

I emailed Tim's post to all of the parents of youth on my church email list. I really thought it was too valuable not to pass along. Probably close to 100% of your students regularly use either the internet, email, social media, or an Ipod Touch, or a regular basis. I would guess that far less that 100% of their parents have any kind of guidelines in place to monitor and govern what their kids are doing/watching/listening to.

Here is one of Tim's thoughts that I really liked. You can find the rest at LeadingSmart.

iPod Touch restrictions – our 7th grade son saved his money for a long time until he was able to buy an iPod Touch. The first thing I did was took it, enabled the “restrictions” feature, locked it out from Safari (internet surfing) and YouTube, set a password, and gave it back to him. I don’t need my adolescent son walking around with a pocket full of temptation.

What do you think? Are parents that monitor emails invading their kids' privacy? Or are they doing what's best and keeping them safe? Should we let kids listen to what they want because "they'll hear it somewhere else anyway"?

Sex Sex Sex

I've had a few discussions lately with some adults as well as other local youth pastors on this subject and I want to get your perspective as well.

Hypothetical: Parent thinks kid is or is about to become sexually active. Parents are godly, patient and loving and have spent much time in honest discussion with their kid about the realities of sex as well as the benefit of and biblical command for abstinence. However, kid still seems to be heading towards their own decision to have sex.

Now, parent obviously wishes kid wouldn't have sex but is prepared for the reality that they might. Parent feels the need to provide protection/birth control to at least ensure that pregnancy doesn't occur if kid decides to go ahead with choice.

Parent comes to you. Fills you in. Wants advice. What say you?

Is this a responsible parent looking out for their kid in the event that they fall into sin, making sure he/she doesn't become parent as the result of one mistake? Or does the choice to provide protection in case of sin somehow undermine the standard set previously?

Also, if you would look 20 years into the future when a lot of us may have our own kids facing this choice, would you follow the same advice you're giving to parent?

I'll let you know my thoughts in comments after I hear from one or two of you guys.